FUCK THE FACTS / June 2001 with Topon

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FUCK THE FACTS / June 2001 with Topon
Conducted by Andy Gourski


GRINDCORE: Like I was going to say «hi, how's it going, man?

TOPON: Then I’ll say «It's going great! Very busy, but all good.

GRINDCORE: I'm looking at the map right now and I'm a little bit amused by some geographical names like Yellowknife, Great Slave and stuff like that, kinda weird, heh.

TOPON: Ya, we got some weird names I guess. But they’re mostly Native American, which is cool. I love living in Canada, I feel very lucky to be living the life I do, and besides the odd asshole, which you'd run into anywhere, Canada is very beautiful country. I've never been to Yellowknife, or Great Slave, but this place is so huge who can keep track. I live in «Ottawa», how weird is that?

GRINDCORE: Talking about Canada. You Canadians and Americans seem to be the same but I personally respect your nation more than Americans. Of course there are some nice fuckers there (mainly grinders, heh) but the main part is stupid dorks with zero iq and 150 kilos in their butts.

TOPON: This is a funny question. There is a lot of anti-American sentiment here. Canadian don't like being compared to Americans, for the same reasons you mentioned. It's fucking crazy that some Americans truly believe that they live in the best country in the world. fuck 'em! This whole planet is awesome. But, of course there are also many nice Americans, I think it's there politicians that make then look fucked.

GRINDCORE: Now it's time to finish with all that crab! Who wants to know your opinion about political or social aspects of life your job is to answer stupid alike question… so proceed!… So, here's another question our readers wanna ask you what guitars do you use?… aha… yes… and what strings do you prefer?… yes… right… and one more question about equipment - witch condoms do you like most, banana or strawberry flavored?… I see… And you know what? Some dorks really wanna interviews to look like that. They wanna have 4 biography pages wanna know all the line-up changes and they don't give a fuck about personality at all, see. Most of them don't have sense of humor and imagination that's why they can't accept something new… wow, heh.

TOPON: I know man, I’ve done of interviews where I have to answer the same questions over and over, but hey, I just really appreciate that people are taking the time to interview some dirty Canadian grindhead. So if yr still curious... I play a crappy «Aria Pro» shit guitar, ha, ha,... I love it. One of my friends found it abandoned in some building and gave it to me. I can't even tune the 2 highest pitch strings cause the tuning pegs are broke, and the input jack is held in by some green tape! This bitch grinds like a motherfucker, and is the only electric guitar I’ve used to record all FTF shit. It's funny cause Tim, the other guitarist in FTF, has about 5 really nice guitars, and all his equipment is top notch. We’re really different, when it comes to this stuff. As for strings I’m not really picky but I need a heavy gauge, cause we tune down to a B. I never have to suck my own dick so I really don't care what flavor condoms I use.

GRINDCORE: You know maple leaf has enough in common with marijuana what if it's not just a coincidence?

TOPON: I'm pretty sure it's just a coincidence. But things are looking good for pot to become legal here, or at least decriminalized. It's already ok, for medical use. And there's a lot of people pushing to get rid of this retarded ancient law, which puts people in the joint for smoking dope.

GRINDCORE: What if «the government conceals the truth»? You're going to be like the second junky nation after the Netherlands, heh.

TOPON: Fuck we're already a junkie nation! Most people’s lives here are about making cash and getting smashed. Whatever turns yr crank bud. I like to smoke dope on the occasion but I’m definitely not a pothead, I’m more into beer (like most Canadians) but even that is from time to time. I'm too busy playing in this fuckin' grindcore band to get wasted all the time.

GRINDCORE: Shit, I love maple syrup with my pancakes! I bet you've got some national alcohol drinks made of that shit, ha?

TOPON: Like I said I just drink beer, and alcoholic syrup sounds like it would taste like shit! On pancakes it's good, but I wouldn't kill my grandma for it. I'm more into coffee, that's the shit you kill for.

GRINDCORE: What do you need so many band members for? Five people can't get along for a long time without any problems. I think you should like take everything in your hands and kick those lazy bastards out of the band. You'll manage playing bass programming drum machine and doing vox perfectly and nobody will bother you saying that you 're doing something wrong, heh.

TOPON: It's funny that you mention that, cause FTF used to be just me! I started it as a solo project, and just this year we made it a full band (actually, our bass player just left, so we're down to 4 members). But ya, it's really different, but it's all for the best.

GRINDCORE: Like it's only the eighth question and I already dunno what to ask. I think I become stupid… think, man, think… ok, while my brain is thinking I'd like to ask you about English and French speaking parts of Canada. Can you make things clear are there two states in one?

TOPON: Basically, French is the second language of Canada. Quebec is really the only Province where French is the first language, I grew up in Quebec and even where I live now is basically on the border of Quebec and Ontario. So I speak both French and English. «mange des patate!!».

GRINDCORE: Hehe. «Discoing the dead» is an outstanding example of underground manufacturing. I think it would be very difficult to make this release «more underground». I bet you've planned to get fucking big money for that pro-produced album, heh. I wonder how many copies were issued?

TOPON: Hey man, you making fun of our album? I guess it's pretty underground, but basically we didn't have the money to get cds pressed, so we just burned cd-r's (which I think is pretty close, anyway), and photocopied the covers. I've seen way more underground looking shit. We recorded the whole thing at my 8-track studio (Total Bastard studio), and so far we've sent out about 100 copies. Weeeez all about the bling-bling.

GRINDCORE: What are your plans for future? Is your new stuff going to be presented in the same way or you going to make it a little bit more «civilized»? Personally, I don't give a fuck I just wanna get a free copy, heh.

TOPON: Don't worry bud you'll get yr copy, and thanx for yr honesty! ha, ha... Uhmmm... we just recorded 5 songs, 4 of them are older songs re-recorded with our new line-up, and the 5th is a cover of the Beach Boys «409», for a Beach Boys Tribute. We also plan to release all 5 songs on a split 7”, but we still have to find another band or a label to help us put it out. I think if anything our sound has gotten a bit more chaotic, but you'll have to wait and see........ We also have a split cd-r with Conure coming soon and split tape with Truth Unlimited on the way. Whole bunch of other shit happening to, in the way of splits, etc... so keep an eye out.

GRINDCORE: What's about copyright? Don't mind if I'll make some copies for my homies?

TOPON: Go crazy bud! Copy away.....but once we're rich we'll hafta sue! Just kidding, personally I don't give a fuck about copyrights, I’m just happy if people actually want to listen to our shit.

GRINDCORE: Earlier I asked everybody if they had a dream but it started to piss me off that's why you're going the first one to take part in the worldwide grindcore sex survey it has only one question - where, how and with whom you like having sex?

TOPON: Sex is good anywhere, any time, and any position. I try and keep just one sexual partner at a time because of all these crazy fucking diseases going around, but once in a while I’m too drunk and I fuck up.

GRINDCORE: I think It's the thirteenth question already. What about superstitions? Do you have any
before-gig-traditions except getting drunk? Do you tour at all?

TOPON: I never get drunk before a show, not even one beer. There's too much shit going on that I need to be super focused, aha! No superstitions, that kinda shit can fuck with yr head.

GRINDCORE: I'm tired let's end this shit. Your top 5, please (not porno movies but band albums).

TOPON: This list is always changing, but at this moment the top 5 albums that I’m listening to are:
1. Discordance Axis - the inalienable dreamless
2. Mindrot - dawning
3. Multiplex - multiplex
4. His Hero Is Gone - the plot sickens
5. Black Flag - my war

GRINDCORE: Well, thanks, man. Hope you didn't fall asleep. Grind on, smoke on, fuck on… and send me some of that maple syrup for my pancakes! Grind on…

TOPON: Hey bud, thanx for the killer interview. I hope I didn't bore you! For more info on FTF visit our web-site aTopon: http://www.mp3.com/ftfgrind you can also e-mail me aTopon: discocore@yahoo.com and write: TOPON DAS 451 Preston St. Ottawa, Ont. K1S 4N5 CANADA. Thanx again, and rawk out muthafukkas!!+++

This concludes our interview with Fuck the Facts

[EverybodyLoveEverybody]

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